For awhile now I have been in denial. Denial because I didn't want to admit I had something wrong. That my body was causing me issues. I convinced myself it was all in my head. but after realizing that my insomnia matter was not just some small thing I began to think I was not as super-human as I liked to believe.. The meds/sleep-aides I tried, both over the counter and prescription, don't work. The advice I was given from several about making a routine that included do's and don'ts. I have tried them all. It made me believe that there was something else going on.
Then, there are issues I have been having. I don't mention them to many because I am not one who likes to dwell on my problems. I just kind of keep it to myself. Lee, doesn't even know the extent of it.
It seemed to start right after I had Lexie. I just thought that it was residual effects from being on Magnesium Sulfate three times in one month as well as all the other medications I had to take while hospitalized. It started with my arms, then went to my hands, neck, back, legs, thighs, knee's and ankles. I feel the most discomfort in my arms and hands. I can't hold a pan in one hand. Sometimes, it's difficult to hold my phone and text with one hand, I have pain and I shake and my legs hurt if I bend or stretch too much. I constantly have to switch positions. If I do a lot of something, Ie: Lifting, heavy duty cleaning, lifting Alexa all day, my arms and body feel as though I am on fire.
After talking to some friends and asking my mom they suggested I speak to my doctor about having Fibromyalgia. Someone mentioned this to me awhile back and I shrugged it off. Until the pain (and I say that loosely, it hurts but it's a different kind of "hurt") started expanding and happening more frequently I decided to ask my friends more in depth questions They all agreed, it seemed like I could have it and they urged me to speak with my doctor.
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So, I went to the Doctor today. I had a follow up from my supposed diverticulitis episode which, I have since learned that FM can cause intestinal issues. And... he agreed. He said he said that he was certain I had it. He prescribed me Servella.
I am feeling completely overwhelmed. I have to admit that I have this thing that slows me down sometimes. I have to admit that the "pain" I feel is real. But, I will continue to do as I always do. I will not use it as an excuse. I will not dwell on it. I will learn to live with it...I have so much learning to do. I will NOT let this beat me. I already deal with PCOS and that has taken over my body. I won't let FM. Now, admitting it, is half the battle.
Any suggestions, advice, information you can offer will be greatly appreciated.
♥Amie
Big (((HUGS))) but not too hard because I know how much that can hurt. I totally feel for you and can tell you it is a rough road. Keep up that attitude because it is SO easy to let it get you down (I speak from experience). Be kind to yourself and your body. You cannot do everything you used to do but the best advice I have heard for that is to "let whatever you can do today be enough." Don't dwell on what you can't do and enjoy what you can. I'm here to talk if you ever need it. I was dx when Taylor was about 3 so going on 9 years now. Good luck and God bless.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Shelly. I am sure I will be leaning (ever so gently) on you for support. I appreciate it! ♥ you!
DeleteFM is a battle you fight daily. Some days you win, and unfortunately, some days it wins. The only thing you can do is keep fighting for a normal life. I was diagnosed a little over 5 years ago, just 6 months after my wedding. I still can't fully accept that my life will never be the same, that I'll always have limitations, and that my house is never going to be completely spotless. I have OCD and I want perfection from myself. I've never understood the difference between "my best" and "the best". With FM I can't do my best everyday because my body isn't at it's best everyday. I do have to tell you that you're lucky that you're done having kids. I still want my dream family of 4 kids, but pregnancy sucks with FM. I don't dread having more kids, just more pregnancies. My kids are the reason I get out of bed and face the burning pain each day. Without them, life with FM wouldn't be worth living. So far the only relief I've gotten (without the side-effect of vision loss) is from coconut oil and Aleve, but that's better than nothing. Besides, coconut oil is only one-tenth the price of Lyrica and I can take it during pregnancy, BIG pluses for me. I'll pray that Servella works for you, and that you can find relief. Remember, just because you have to fight this battle everyday, that doesn't mean you have to fight it alone. Don't be too proud to ask for help, ask for prayers, or ask for gentle hugs. You've got my prayers and my support. I can't really be there for you in person, but you can call me anytime. ♥ you!
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